Shame & Race in the Workplace & Beyond: When the Elephant Is Destroying the Room

Like any other weekday, I went through my morning ritual of prayer and meditation, and then sat down with a cup of tea to check the morning headlines before starting my workday.  The last few weeks had been quite heavy and intense with the numerous protests against racism and police brutality after the most recent killings of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, and Ahmaud Arbery.  As a black male, I saw myself in George and Ahmaud, and Breonna could have easily been a member of my family.  With these events stacked on top of the COVID-19 virus wreaking economic havoc and social discord, along with provocative presidential tweets and the political rollercoaster of having national emergencies during an election year, I thought I was mentally prepared to see pretty much anything come through the news feed.

I See You

I see you. How many pictures did you take before you found one you would post? “My hair’s too messy.” “My smile looks weird.” “I look fat from that angle.” “I should try another pose.” Don’t you ever get tired? Tired of putting yourself under a microscope? Tired of trying to live up to everyone else’s expectations? Tired of letting other people’s social media pages...

Coulda Woulda Shoulda

Much of my life has been spent playing it safe.  However, right before I met my wife, I made a decision to step outside my comfort zone and live my life free of regrets.  Things that I normally would not have done in a million years, I did.  Had it not been for that change, my wife and I would not be together today. In order to get myself in a state where I actually had the desire to step outside my norm, I imagined what it would be like to reach the end of my days and reflect back on my life if I kept playing it safe.  This exercise gave me the perspective and motivation to make a change. Regrets are typically the result of living life based on fears and the expectations of others as opposed to the results we truly want.  Fortunately, even though we cannot change the past, we have the chance to change the present and future based on what we have learned.  However, we must remember that eventually our time here will be up, so we shouldn't take tomorrow for granted. I wrote the poem Coulda Woulda Shoulda to express what it would be like to live a life of fear and eventually run out of time.

Hero Complex: Do You Obsess Over Saving Others and Neglect Yourself?

Do you have a lot of people depending on you?  Do you feel pulled in so many different directions that you might explode?  Are your own needs typically an afterthought, and do you often find yourself addressing your needs later than you should, or not at all? I realize the world isn’t going to save itself, and that everyone in your life needs you desperately (and RIGHT NOW), but hear me out on this one because I speak from experience...